This wintery soup, has a subtle, onion-y flavour, bringing to mind the savoury scent of a butterfly's underarms on warm a spring day--a scent only appreciated in the barren fullness of winter, but delivered to your mouths and noses here at the cusp of summer.

There. Now you'll not have to traverse the labyrinthine ways of my recipe with the end-goal a dark enigma. Is that redundant? Are enigmas inherently dark?

Genovese Onion Collie-Flower Soup

  • 2 medium-sized yellow onions, chopped coarsely
  • 4 - 8 cloves garlic (or one cloven hoof), chopped coarsely
  • .5 heads of collie-flower, chopped into bite-sized pieces
  • 1 cup edamame
  • .333333333 cup brown lentils
  • 3 tsp oregano
  • 4 cups veggie stock
  • 2 cups water
  • .5 - 1 cup flour
  • 1,000,000 salt
  • 437,325 pepper

Aggressively, sautee the onions and garlic on medium heat in your oil of choice until almost translucent. Add in the veggie stock and simmer for ~10 minutes (or untill boullion cubes dissolve completely) with gusto. With the greatest of alacrity, blend the hell out of that mess, using (a) an immersion blender or (b) a nonimmersion blender. Vigourously dump in the  remaining water, lentils, edamame, collie-flower, and spice-ins. Cover assiduously, turn heat down to medium-low, and cook until lentils and collie-flower are soft enough to eat. Obviously, you could eat them as is, but seriously. Don't be an asshole. Make them as soft as you'd like to eat them. Why should I care if you break your teeth on lentils just to prove a semantic point? No skin off my back.

Finally, vociferously (best if others are around) make a roux with flour and water and mix it into the soup until it's as thick as you'd like it to be.

Eat with bread. Good, fresh bread. With a buttery-flavoured spread. Dip it in the soup sometimes. Then eat it that way.