For lack of a better title...this is a basically a dal that tastes like a stroganoff...I served it with garlic/rosemary mashed potatoes and crimini mushrooms sauteed in butter, soy sauce, and a dash of worcestershire (there's a vegan kind with a spoony wizard on the bottle); we had it later in the week over quinoa (which was also--but not as--good).

Lentil Stroganizzl

  • 3/4 cup black lentils
  • 3/4 cup brown lentils
  • 1 yellow onion, diced
  • 1 stalk celery, diced
  • 1 tbsp cumin seeds, toasted and ground
  • 1/3 cup raw cashews
  • 1/3 cup walnuts
  • 1/4 cup tahini
  • 1 tbsp worcestershire
  • 2 - 3 tbsp soy sauce (or gluten-free tamari)
  • 2 tbsp tomato paste
  • ~4 - 6 cups water
  • oil
  • salt and pepper to taste

Sautee the onion and celery in oil over medium heat. When the onions start to turn brown, add in the lentils and coat well with oil. Let them cook for a couple of minutes and then add in just slightly more water than is needed to cover the lentils. In a coffee grinder or food processor, grind the cashews and walnuts into a fine powder. After about 30 minutes, add in the powder, cumin, tomato paste, tahini, soy sauce, worcestershire. Let cook for another 30 minutes or so, until lentils are nice and tender. Add water as needed to keep the lentils covered. The desired consistency isn't watery--this should be servable on a plate. You wouldn't server water on a plate, would you? If so, then this is not the recipe for you. No assholes allowed.

Surprise loved ones with a truly strange dish, sure to delight!